Stop ‘Shoulding’ on Yourself!

Stop “shoulding” on yourself!  Yes, I’m guilty of doing this to myself at the moment, too.

It’s really easy to listen to our brain’s background chatter when it says things like,  “I should be an awesome teacher for my kids at this time” “I should be counting my blessings” or “I should be doing something productive and not watching so much Netflix.”

It doesn’t matter what sentences we are listening to in our brains that begin with “I should be” or “I  shouldn’t be…” but have some compassion for yourself. Try to think of it this way: when we choose to listen to these thoughts it’s like we’re hitting ourselves repeatedly on the head with a hammer–ouch!  No upside at all, not necessarily helping us be more productive, and really only causing us more pain and discomfort than we’re already experiencing.

Try this instead, take a deep breath and rather than think a thought such as, “I should be exercising more” add a simple phrase to help you think a new thought.  This would look something like, “I notice I’m thinking I should be exercising more, and that’s okay.”  Then add another thought that you actually believe such as “And today I’m going to try again and go for a walk.” 

Try it and notice what happens.  Don’t forget to do it with compassion for yourself.  SO much better and far less painful in the long run!